Newborn Poop
Poop is utterly terrible. When your newborn comes home and starts pooping everywhere, it’s all good. Why you ask? Because the poop really isn’t poop. It’s some odd non-poop that cleans up easily and barely makes a dent in your day. I mean, there are a ton of diaper changes but the poops are small and containable. It’s like poop-lite. Then your baby gets a bit bigger and the poops start getting bigger too. And smellier. But it’s still containable. Until THAT day. You know the day…the day your really attractive, always put-together girlfriend comes over and desperately wants to hold the babies. She’s so sweet and thoughtful and brings gorgeous outfits for them to wear. We chat away for what seems like an eternity, having a GREAT time. And then it happens. She mentions that maybe something is amiss with the baby she’s holding. I reassure her that everything is just fine. More time passes and when she adjusts the baby, poop is everywhere. I mean everywhere. It’s incredibly embarrassing. She swears it’s not a problem but we’re mortified. Her $200+ jeans now reek of poop. She did come back one more time to visit and luckily for us it was “incident-less” but strangely enough, she moved back east after that. I’m sure it was because of the poop. Read More